Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
