WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
