i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
