We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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