AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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