we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
