piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
