p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
