I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
