sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
