I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
