i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
