i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
