i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
