after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
