He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
