i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
