Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
what day is it and did you see me today?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
