we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
