yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
