You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
