I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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