i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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