are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
