My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
