i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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