Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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