You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
