Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
