Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
