sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
