my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
