Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
