She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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