Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
