Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
