similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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