You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
