Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
