Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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