I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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