So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
are you so shy because you have an std?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
