I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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