youre lurking in front of me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
