It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
