Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
