Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
