the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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