If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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