I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
